NEWS
Trump Forced To Play Glockenspiel At Rally After Every Artist Bars Use Of Songs
WALKER, MI—Plunking out a solo as the performance entered its 45th minute, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump was reportedly forced to play the glockenspiel at a rally Friday after every musical artist in the country banned him from using their songs.
“He started out with some sheet music, but within minutes he was just hammering away at the same few notes over and over,” rally-goer Ray Garza said as Trump regaled the crowd with a medley of public domain material including “Alexander’s Ragtime Band” and “Take Me Out To The Ball Game.” “I’ve heard at other rallies he’ll go for hours at a time. At first I was kinda unsure, but he just has so much confidence. While I never really liked jazz before, he can improv on those keys, and it just keeps me hooked. I’m not sure if he really invented the glockenspiel, like he claimed, but he’s the best I’ve ever heard, and he says all of Kamala Harris’ glockenspiel performances are fake.” At press time, the estate of Irving Berlin was suing the former president for his glockenspiel rendition of “God Bless America.”
Whoopi Goldberg Slams Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively On ABC Chat Show ‘The View’ Amid Sexual Harassment Lawsuit Against ‘It Ends With Us’ Co-Star and Director Justin Baldoni: “Stop Playing The Pity Card”
Jennifer Lopez and Ex-Husband Ben Affleck Share Heartfelt Christmas Moment, Exchanging Thoughtful Gifts Over Lunch at Soho House in LA
George Clooney Books Tickets to Leave the USA After Auctioning His Omega Watch – ‘I am not needed or respected here, and a massive red wave is coming. I can’t stay because of…
Elon Musk Offers Harsh Reality Check to Travis Kelce: “Your Personal Life is Fuel for the Critics—Keep It Private to Survive the Spotlight”
“The Industry Needs to Change Its TOXIC CULTURE, Like What Happened with Diddy and Justin Bieber”— Taylor Swift Stands with Top Swiftie Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds After Sexual Harassment Lawsuit Against ‘It Ends With Us’ Co-Star Justin Baldoni:
More Woes for ‘It Ends With Us’ Star Justin Baldoni as Wife Emily Baldoni Files for Divorce After Ryan Reynolds wife Blake Lively’s Sexual Harassment Lawsuit
Blake Lively is taking legal action against her “It Ends with Us” co-star and director, Justin Baldoni, for alleged sexual harassment during the filming of the adaptation of Colleen Hoover’s bestselling novel.
Swift’s Big Heart: Taylor Donates $250K to Operation Breakthrough, Kansas City’s Vital Resource for Low-Income Families
Emily Baldoni Packs Up and Leaves Home in Anger After Ryan Reynolds’ Wife Blake Lively Files Sexual Harassment Lawsuit Against Justin Baldoni
Ryan Reynolds DECLARES WAR on Justin Baldoni, Calls Him a “Delusional Liar” After Baldoni’s “Clueless” Dismissal of Blake Lively’s Harassment Lawsuit
“This Is a Joke”: Tyson Fury Rips Into AI Boxing Judge After his loss to Oleksandr Usyk, Says It’s “A Complete Piece of Sh*t”, Completely Ruining the Integrity of Boxing and Warns It Will “Kill” the Sport
