NEWS
Trump Forced To Play Glockenspiel At Rally After Every Artist Bars Use Of Songs
WALKER, MI—Plunking out a solo as the performance entered its 45th minute, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump was reportedly forced to play the glockenspiel at a rally Friday after every musical artist in the country banned him from using their songs.
“He started out with some sheet music, but within minutes he was just hammering away at the same few notes over and over,” rally-goer Ray Garza said as Trump regaled the crowd with a medley of public domain material including “Alexander’s Ragtime Band” and “Take Me Out To The Ball Game.” “I’ve heard at other rallies he’ll go for hours at a time. At first I was kinda unsure, but he just has so much confidence. While I never really liked jazz before, he can improv on those keys, and it just keeps me hooked. I’m not sure if he really invented the glockenspiel, like he claimed, but he’s the best I’ve ever heard, and he says all of Kamala Harris’ glockenspiel performances are fake.” At press time, the estate of Irving Berlin was suing the former president for his glockenspiel rendition of “God Bless America.”
After Taylor Swift’s $500K Donation, Jennifer Lopez, Leonardo DiCaprio, Steph Curry, Ryan Reynolds, Beyoncé, Justin Bieber & John Cena Step Forward With $1 Million Each to Support Gavin Newsom’s Ballot Measure Blocking Donald Trump’s 2026 Midterm Plans
Taylor Swift Slam Donald Trump After Order to Strip Kamala Harris, Barack Obama, and Joe Biden of Secret Service Protection in Move Critics Call “Un-American, Authoritarian and Dangerous
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Spotted Enjoying a Cozy Night Out Together in Nashville with Patrick Mahomes Wife Brittany Mahomes
Angelina Jolie, Leonardo DiCaprio, Dwayne Johnson, Justin Bieber and Zac Efron Follow Taylor Swift’s Lead With $1 Million Each After Her $500k Donation to Back Gavin Newsom’s Ballot Measure Aimed at Blocking Donald Trump’s 2026 Midterm Election Plans
JD Vance Blasts NFL, Warning Fans That Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Storyline May Be Turned Into League’s Biggest Scripted Moment Yet: A Wedding on Football’s Grandest Stage ‘Superbowl’
Leonardo DiCaprio and Zac Efron Praise Taylor Swift’s $500K Donation, Pledge $1M Each to Back California Gov Gavin Newsom’s Ballot Measure Against Donald Trump’s 2026 Midterm Plans
Selena Gomez Breaks the Internet After Announcing Her Upcoming Wedding to Benny Blanco While Also Dropping the Surprise That She’s Expecting Their First Baby!
Taylor Swift to Personally Sponsor Evacuation and Scholarship Journey of 40 Gaza Students Awaiting Passage to the UK and US Amid Intensifying Israel-Gaza Conflict
Taylor Swift has donated $50,000 to Gavin Newsom’s ballot measure committee supporting new California maps, aimed at preventing Donald Trump from influencing the 2026 midterm elections.
Taylor Swift slams Donald Trump after his administration directs states to remove references to ‘gender ideology’ from sex education materials
Taylor Swift Tears Into Donald Trump’s Shocking Decision to Revoke Secret Service Protection for Vice President Kamala Harris, Calling It a Dangerous Assault on Women in Leadership and a Reckless Threat to Democracy
